You Were Never Gone
by ScaliaFics94
Summary: BELLAMY X CLARKE: One-shot of Bellamy and Clarke finally being alone together in 5x04. Becho isn't canon. Rated M.


The one shot song is Hannah Ellis - You Were Never Gone

I was in shock. We made the deal with the Eligius group. Or Bellamy bargained two hundred and eighty-three people's lives for mine. And it worked.

Now they were headed back to their ship and the others gathered around us as we stared at each other. I didn't know what to say. There felt like there was a rip in my chest that had been there for six years and I was just now feeling the entirety of it.

He looked much the same way. So handsome. So much older. So Bellamy.

Monty ushered them out.

As if on cue, we stepped toward each other but we didn't quite close the distance. I wasn't sure about him but I was so incredibly scared. This had happened before. Then I'd wake up to the horrible reality that he wasn't there and I didn't know if I'd see him again. If he was even alive. It felt all too real just like the others.

I broke into tears, uncontrollably bad tears. My hands ran through my hair and tugged as I slid to the floor. One of my arms clutched across my body, everything poured out of me.

"This isn't fair," I barely got out.

Dream Bellamy came to me. He knelt right before me, his body heat felt so real.

"Clarke," His voice was so deep and raspy. He reached forward.

Thinking his was all real made it hurt so much worse. I missed him so beyond this world it wasn't funny. I recoiled from his touch.

"I know you're angry at me for leaving you," His breath fanned my face. He reached forward to cup my face in his hand. "I'm sorry, Princess."

I shoved him away. "No, you're not real. You're not real." My head shook. "This is just another dream." I sobbed my eyes out.

"I'm real, Clarke." He pulled one hand away from my face. "This is real," His hands held mine. "I'm here, I promise."

My eyes opened at the warmth of his hold. It was so in the moment. I stared into his, my chin trembled. "This isn't a dream?"

He looked distraught. "Come here," He pulled me to him.

I sunk into his body, "Bell?"

His hold on me tightened. "I'm here."

He was really here? He was really holding me? I was really in his arms? How?

I didn't know what to say? After all this time and having it all planned out in my head if the occasion ever arose, I couldn't figure anything out that was worthy of the situation.

My mouth ended up in the crook of his neck. My hand went to his neck, his very warm neck.

He stiffened. "Clarke,"

I pulled my head up just enough to stare at him. My gaze fell down to the beard, to his mouth, then into his eyes.

His hands held me in the most intimate way. Maybe he had always held me like that and I refused to notice. Six years later and I couldn't help but notice it. He stared at my mouth in much the same way I stared at his, in wanting to finally breach the line of just friends. We had never been just friends though. He believed that my feelings weren't reciprocated but that was the furthest thing from the truth. I simply want ready to test things out between us, especially when I hadn't fully recovered from the loss of Finn, Lexa, Wells, and fly Dad. Now I was beyond healed up.

I stared him into his soul. "Why'd you take so long to get back to me?"

He looked at a loss for words. "I thought you were dead...We tried." He gazed at me like I was the dream and not the other way around. "Clarke," His face got closer but he hesitated.

Now that he was here in front of me I wasn't in the business of playing around.

My hands cupped his face in a way that we both know was going to happen next.

I moved my mouth closer to his and stopped just as our lips touched. "Bell," It came out as a plea for him to show me this wasn't one sided.

His hands spread across my back, he moved his lips against mine in the softest way possible, way softer than I ever expected from him.

A few tears slipped down my face but it didn't hinder us from deepening it. I held onto him for dear life, like he'd disappear and I'd wake up to find that none of it was real. That I couldn't handle.

His tongue slipped into my mouth.

I moaned into the kiss which made him happy. I didn't want to stop kissing him or running my fingers through his hair or writhing on his lap.

He got hard against me. His hands tried to stop me. "We should talk,"

My kisses trailed along his jaw and down his neck. I grew wet hearing him groan. "So talk,"

He spoke with a barely controlled voice. "I just got back, I don't want to rush this."

I pulled away to look him in the eyes.

"We don't have to rush this," He insisted.

My hips moved against his. "We don't have to but I want to." I began to remove my top. My eyes coyly went to his. "If that's okay with you?"

He didn't say anything, he just helped me with my clothes, then I helped him with his.

Oh my God.

I could see every ridge in the moonlight through one of the windows. Every smooth tan curve of silky skin, every lickable ripple of muscle. He was beautiful from the inside out. And he often didn't know it. Well, I wanted to make sure he knew.

I straddled his lap again, held his beautifully hard cock in my hand and sunk onto it.

He grunted. His eyes locked on mine.

An honest to God relieved smile came to my face. It felt like I could breathe clearly for the first time in a long time.

I wanted to move but he was so big and it had been so long since I had anyone inside of me. So we took the time to study each other.

He placed sweet kisses against my bare shoulder, his fingers trailed lines of white hot sensation along my skin. "God, you're beautiful." His eyes slid to mine.

I felt that way around him, always had. It wasn't just a surface thing that he provoked in me, it was skin deep.

Words couldn't describe how I felt the same so I pressed my lips into his until it progressed into the neediest kiss with teeth clashing, lip biting, hair pulling.

I moved my hips so I could ride him.

His hands gripped my waist to slow me down. "Clarke, I don't know if I can last long. Not with you," His soft brown eyes were so worried that I'd be turned off by that notion when really it was a huge compliment coming from him.

"I don't care," My head shook. "I just want to be with you like this." I moaned into his neck as I held onto him. "Bell," My eyes watered from how good it felt, he was so big and warm inside of me. I knew it had nothing to do with not having been with a man for more than six years and everything to do with it being Bellamy.

He took over doing the work due to my immobility. He turned us around and laid me back on the floor. His eyes ran up and down my body in a haze before he pushed deep inside of me.

I didn't want everyone to hear us if they were even still outside but I couldn't help but moaning out. He was such a sight as he hovered over me. Even his sex faces were hot.

Then he hit my g-spot and my eyes fluttered. "Oh my God," I grasped at his arms. "Right there."

He leaned down, his hips worked faster. "Fuck." He said against my lips.

My mouth widened at the feel of him slamming into me, my breath entangled with his. "You feel so good." My voice was strained. I wrapped my arms around his sweaty back and didn't let go. "I'm going to cum."

He moaned so sexily.

I looked him in the eyes. "Cum with me."

He looked like I didn't have to tell him twice. He fucked me harder with the intent of emptying himself inside of me.

Before I lost my courage, I said, "I love you." It came out as a whisper.

He didn't slow down his movements but his eyes fell on mine gently.

I gathered the bass in my voice and tried it again. "I love you, Bellamy."

His eyes glazed over, he leaned down to kiss me. "I love you, Princess."

Tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes. It had been a long time since I felt this close to anyone romantically. Things had been different with Lexa. I still loved her, but in a different way. She had never been inside of me the way Bellamy was now, there was nothing wrong with that. Things had always been different with Bellamy. He'd been there for all the important stuff, been my right hand man. To potentially ruin our friendship to let him inside of me was monumental. But this was worth it. He was worth it. Six years away from him taught me that.

He kissed my tears which made me laugh. He gave a slight grin.

I stared into his eyes. My back arched. "Bellamy," I came all over him with the most massive orgasm I've ever had.

He placed his face against mine when he shot inside of me.

Naturally, I had another orgasm. Something that's never happened. Ever.

I laid there holding onto him. There was nothing I could say. I couldn't believe we just crossed the line and did the one act that ensured we couldn't cross back into just friends. I loved every moment of it.

He raised up after he caught his breath to inspect me. "You okay?" His question loaded.

Words wouldn't come so I nodded with a budding smile.

"Did we really just do that?" He had a dazed look on his face of disbelief and contained happiness.

"Yeah," I nodded. "We did." My hand reached up to push some of the hair from his eyes. "Are you okay with that?" Some part of me still worried that I had gotten it all wrong.

He lifted an amused brow. "Am I okay with that?" He grinned. "Have you met me?"

I laughed. "I'll take that as a yes."

He rolled us over with us on our sides. "You'll take that as a yes?" He teased.

I nodded with a face splitting smile. My chest ached at the smile he gave back.

His smile turned into a laugh, one that didn't sit right with me. He laughed in my face. "You actually thought this was real?"

Every molecule in my body came to attention. My eyes closed but I couldn't block out his laughter. I shouldn't have believed it.

"No," I pushed him away.

He laughed at me in the most callous way.

My head shook to block out the pain. "No no no." I started shaking. "Stop," I told him but he kept going. "Stop, I said stop!"

I was shook from the unpleasantry of what just happened.

"Clarke," Bellamy hovered over me.

I stared at his in relief, I blew out a heavy breath.

"It was just a dream." He assured. He pulled me to him so that he was cradling me. "You're okay. I'm right here."

But for how long before I fall asleep again and it all happens over? I hated this. He'd been down now for a few months and I couldn't shake the nightmares.

He rocked me back and forth. "I promise you that this isn't a dream."

I let him lull me back to sleep in his arms.

I stared at him across a field. Madi tugged him forward until we were face to face. My hand covered my mouth in disbelief that he was really in front of me.

He cracked a watered eyed grin. "Hey, Princess."

I went to him with tears down my face. "Bell,"

A/N: So the ending kind of lead me in two directions. One being another one-shot where Madi drags him to her but it's kinda sad because he's traumatized from being the only survivor. The other being the bigger fic that skips all the getting to the place where they all get along drama and how they all live together in the camp, but Clarke has nightmares that Bellamy's not there. Anyway, one of the two is going to happen sooner. :) Let me know your thoughts on this :D


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